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Loving Leadership
Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5: 22-23
What is leadership?
The word leader itself suggests the existence of a destination or goal. If a father is going to lead others, he must have some place in mind to which he is leading them. Ultimately, this would be heaven!! Jesus underscored the importance of leadership having proper goals when He noted the problems of “the blind leading the blind” (Matthew 15:14; Luke 6:39). A father must have a vision of where he is going, and must be able to impart that vision to those who follow. A leader knows what needs to be done, and can persuade others to help to do it.
Leadership is the ability to recognize and to develop the potential in others!
A leader must not only be goal-centered, but also people-centered. It is not enough for a leader to know where he wants to take the people; he must also be able to see clearly where they are at the present time. If he tries to lead them on a level they are not on, the desire to help them reach the objectives will be frustrated. Leaders must be able to discern what step the people will be able to take next. He must recognize their potential for progress and develop it.
Likewise, a husband and father of a family must recognize the God-given potential in the lives of his family members. He must not try to mold them only into what he wants or needs them to be, but he must help them to become what God wants them to be. He must be more concerned about their developing into what God has called them to be than about accomplishing a certain task. He needs to know those he is leading. The better he knows them, the better he will be able to lead them (John 2:25).
Leadership is to provide order in God’s creation.
God is a God of order! In order for there to be harmony and purpose among any group of things, there must be an orderly arrangement of them in their relatedness to each other. The detailed order throughout God’s creation is a witness to the orderliness in God’s own nature. Leadership is one of God’s ways of maintaining order. God’s purpose is that everyone be in submission to others. A father, then, must understand God’s order for the home. He must help each family member find his or her place in that order and properly respond to it.
When God created man, He declared that one of His purposes was to share His function of authority and dominion over creation (Genesis 1:26-28). God decided to delegate His own authority to others so His rule could be extended and administered throughout creation. This choice was made not out necessity, but out of God’s desire to share His entire being with man. Thus, leadership involved authority. The purpose of leadership is to be a channel for God’s authority. Those who try to lead apart from God’s authority will not be able to bring others into the fulfillment of God’s purposes for them. So a father must recognize he is to be a leader with authority. He is not to exercise a self-assumed authority but must become a channel for God’s authority by his own personal submission to it.
What is God’s order of leadership in the home?
The scripture declares, “two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). Multiple counsel is strongly encouraged in Proverbs 11:14; 15:22 and 24:6. It would seem not only does God want there to be a husband and wife leading the home, but also a chain of command. (Genesis 2:24; 28&; Exodus 20:12; Proverbs 1:8; 10:1; 23:22, 24, 25). Although the husband and wife stand co-equal in the sight of God “being heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7), the man is chosen by God to bear the responsibility of being the head of the home. The husband is called to submit to God, the wife is called to submit to her husband, and the children are called to submit to their parents. Although all the members of the family are equally valuable to God, and equally important for the success of the home, God has established this chain of command for the sake of effective leadership in the home (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:22-24; 6:1-4).
What make leadership effective?
In the work that Christ has done for us, He is both our provision and our example. He is not only the example of what we are to become, but He provides us with the help and motivation that we need to succeed. When He laid down His life for us in love, He provided us with all we need to accomplish God’s purpose for us. His sacrificial love is our provision and the basis for our motivation to follow His leadership. It is to be the same in the home. Although the husband is the head of the wife, it is to be his sacrificial love for her that motivates her to submit to his leadership. Children also thrive on loving concern (1 Thessalonians 2:7,8,11). The follow qualities will motivate family members to respond to the father’s leadership in the home: sacrificial love, selfless commitment, personal concern, faithfulness loyalty, gentleness, patience, mercy, forgiveness, openness, and availability.
Christ also motivated people to follow Him by His example (John 13:14,15). He requires this of those who lead His people (1 Peter 5:3). A husband, too, must be an example to his wife, and they together must be examples to their children. They must model the character and lifestyle that they desire their children to imitate. Proclaiming a standard, which they do not follow themselves, will only frustrate and drain the motivation out of their children to reach that standard. The father and then the mother should each be an example of the following qualities: faithfulness, promptness, responsibility, obedience, attentiveness, contentment, neatness, diligence, joyfulness, hospitality, and gratefulness.
Loving leadership is God’s way of leadership. It is motivated by a godly concern for others rather than self-seeking desires. Doing what is best for others is never as easy as pleasing oneself. It takes more strength to love others into submitting to God’s will than to force them into surrounding to your will.
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