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The Husband and the Wife
Maintaining Covenant Relationship
Scripture Reading: 1 Corinthians 13
The marriage contract is the establishment of a covenant between two people. God Himself has set the pattern for all covenants in His relationship to man. God’s covenant with man is often interpreted as a marriage covenant (Ezekiel 16:8, 60). When God entered into His covenant with man, His covenant was based on certain character qualities within Himself making such a covenant possible. If we want our relationships to be successful, we must look to the highest source for our pattern, and learn all we can from God’s relationship to us.
What is the definition of a “covenant”?
A covenant is a “formal, solemn, and binding agreement made between two or more parties”. The Old Testament word for “covenant” comes from a word meaning “bond” and literally means, “to bind two (or more) parties together”.
What is the nature of the covenant God made with man?
The covenants God made with man were of a very serious nature. God even instructs man never to take vows lightly (Ecclesiastes 5:45). Therefore, when God Himself makes a covenant, He has no intention of breaking it. He intends for it to be everlasting (Genesis 9:14-16; Judges 2:1).
What qualities does God manifest in entering into and maintaining a covenant relationship man?
The love of God (Deuteronomy 7:6-8).
God is never motivated by self-interest or selfishness, but He chose to enter into covenant relationship because of His divine love.
The faithfulness of God (Deuteronomy 7:9).
God is absolutely faithful because He is stable and unchanging in His commitments. He is a rock, and we can depend on the fact that if He made a vow today, it will be still in His heart to keep that vow tomorrow (Hebrews 6:16-20).
The forgiveness of God (Psalm 139: 4).
God maintains His faithfulness to the covenant because He readily forgives the offenses of repentant men.
The selflessness of God (Philippians 2:3-8).
God loved the world so much He sacrificially gave of Himself to establish a covenant relationship (John 3:16).
In what way do these qualities in God form the basis for a successful marriage covenant?
The love of God must be the base of every marriage covenant (1 Corinthians 13).
A man and a woman need more than physical attraction. They need a divine love between them not based on external circumstances. This love can only come from God (Ephesians 5:15; Colossians 3:14; 1 Thessalonians 3:11-13; 4:9-12). Both covenanted marriage partners must purpose faithfulness to each other. If there is ever any hint by either party the marriage relationship is anything less that permanent, a time of crisis will bring certain failure. Just as God’s faithfulness extends to all facets of His relationship to man (1 Thessalonians 5:24; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Hebrews 10:23-25; 11:11-12, so should marital faithfulness (Psalm 12:1; Proverbs 20:6; Isaiah 1:26).
Forgiveness must be an operating principle in a successful marriage covenant.
* Forgiveness means, “to release from debt”. It involves a “putting aside, a disregarding, a putting away completely and unreservedly” the sins of another (Romans 3:25).
* True forgiveness involves a determination never to bring the subject of offense up again (Isaiah 38:17; Micah 7:18,19; Jeremiah 31:31-34; Psalm 103:3, 8-12.
* Forgiveness is part of the duty of the Christian (Matthew 18:21-35).
* An unforgiving spirit is a sin greater than the original offense in God’s mind (Matthew 18:34-35).
* If we fail to forgive, we will live in torment (Matthew 18:34-35).
* God’s forgiveness toward us (Colossians 1:14) is dependent upon our forgiveness of others (Matthew 5:23-24; 6-12; Mark 11:25; Luke 6:36-37; Colossians 3:13).
Selflessness must be in the heart of each marriage covenant partner.
Unless both members of a marriage are putting the interest of the other before themselves (Romans 12:10; Philippians 2:3,4), there is bound to be tension, jealousy, impatience, stubbornness, argumentativeness, criticism, harshness, pride and over sensitivity. For true harmony to exist there must be death to self and an exaltation of Christ (Mark 8:34-38).
There are many traits in each of us that reflect the attitude of selfishness or living for ourselves. Check any of the following areas in which you may manifest selfishness:
> A spirit of exaltation/pride, feeling you are better than others
> A love of human praise, a seeking to be noticed
> A centering of conversation around yourself and your own interests
> A spirit of impatience with others
> A spirit of retaliation or resentment when opposed or contradicted
> A tendency to criticize and pick flaws when others have been successful
> A tendency to rebuke through sarcastic expressions
> A jealous disposition and a secret spirit of envy
Because the qualities of love, faithfulness, forgiveness, and selflessness abound in God, God is able to keep covenant with His people in spite of their many failings. These qualities must abound in us if we are to maintain the covenant that we established with our spouse.
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